High Anxiety

One of the things I have to do for my CPN is to keep a mood diary. It mainly focuses on levels of mania or depression, but I also have to keep note of various other things, including my anxiety levels.

I was forced to "turn the volume up to eleven" today! Anxiety levels were so high that "severe" was not good enough to describe my feelings. I've been unable to think straight, do anything, eat properly or anything at all. I went to see my GP for my regular check today and must have been a very distracted patient.

The GOOD news is that Athena came round after her surgery. We went to see her this afternoon and she is clearly not in any distress, has had the first of her liquid meals given down the feeding tube which she now has fitted, but is still quite sleepy.

The BAD news is that her teeth weren't too bad, which probably means there is another underlying reason why she isn't eating. Perhaps she will regain some strength now she can be tube fed, but if she doesn't then I fear it will be time to say goodbye.

So now we must wait again. At least if the eventual outcome is not a positive one we'll know that we did everything we could for her to give her the best chance possible.

We cannot do better than that for her.