Lunchtime. Edinburgh, Royal Mile.

Yeah hi, I'd like a toasted cheese sandwich and a can of Sprite please.

Um... I'm sorry we don't sell food here.

What?

We sell jumpers, scarfs, hats that kind of thing.

Really! No food then?

No we're a cashmere clothes shop. No food.

Well you could have fooled me, not very helpful that is it. I mean its lunchtime for heavens sake... I mean you could have put out a sign, anything at all, give a guy a clue at least!

Oh forget it...