Sunset

Tonight there was a beautiful sunset, this is the view taken from my balcony in our upstairs sitting-room.

Today has been a bit of a mixed day emotionally. It's getting a bit hard to talk about. But tomorrow Christian starts a new round of a different chemo, and it looks like we are running out of options.

In the last few days I've been getting more tetchy and aggravated than usual. There are not enough hours in the day, I feel like I'm, constantly running and can't catch up with myself. And I'm tired. so, so tired.

All my hopes and dreams are disappearing before my eyes.

People keep telling me the wonderful things that are happening to their children and grand-children. And I want to shout 'I don't care.' But I nod and smile politely and say 'How nice, that's wonderful.' But deep down I don't want to hear.

I'd hoped and prayed for a miracle, and a little part of me still wont let go of that belief.

Tomorrow is another day and who knows what may happen.