Blipus Habilis (pre-blip)
Blipus habilis has been a controversial species since it was first described in the mid-1990s. The first species to sport a compact digital camera on holiday wearing dodgy shorts and with paley walley legs, originally many scientists did not accept its validity, believing that all specimens should be assigned either to the Tourista Africanus or the Studentus Platyops. However, this species is important in introducing the 42 genus to the art and fun to be had with digital cameras.
Blipus Erectus (1 blip to 24 blips)
B. Erectus, unlike B. Habilis and all of the other pre-blip species, ranged far beyond holiday snapping. Some scientists have split B. Erectus into three separate species, based on the geographic region in which specimens have been found to take photographs.
However, generally, B. Erectus is characterized by a sullen expression from not really understanding how their camera works and a determination to do something about taking better pictures. Body proportions vary greatly from individual to individual, but the 42 specimen was a bit rounder in the middle than the later specimens on the genus.
B. Erectus has realised that they need a creative outlet and hobby so that they don't just trudge home from work, eat, watch TV and sleep. Perhaps exploring the world of photography and being part of an online community can meet their need and help them evolve.
Blipus Neanderthalensis (25 blips to 70 blips)
Like B. Erectus, B. Neanderthalensis had a primitive understanding of his DSLR, receding hairline, and too many chins. The average Neanderthal brain was slightly larger than that of modern blippers, but this is probably because he thought he was a better blipper than he actually was. The camera of Neanderthals was carried around much more often than the B. Erectus and may have been an adaptation to missing blips on the way home from work.
Neanderthal skin is thick and heavy to withstand the piercing stares of non-blippers as they take photos in silly positions, and their skeletons show that they endured brutally hard jibes. They are found throughout Europe, Africa, America, the Middle East and Australasia.
Often seen sporting the tribal bag with a dancing ancient man symbol, which is worn almost as a status symbol marking him out. Little does he realise that soon enough even this bag will become too small.
Some scientists consider Blipus Neanderthalensis to be a subspecies of Blipus sapiens, rather than a species unto itself, but the distinction, although academic, is important. B Neanderthals were no match for the better-adapted, quicker-witted B Sapiens. Although the B Neanderthalensis took some good photos, they were out-competed, pushed out of their habitats, and ultimately driven to extinction by a superior species.
Blipus Sapiens (71 blips to present day)
The modern form of Blipus Sapiens first appeared about 30 blips ago. This species is distinguished by being able to take the shots they want without spending all day fiddling with settings in vain. Although this still happens sometimes. They also have a prominent amount of equipment that they seem to need wherever they go that won't quite fit into whatever bag they have with them. In fact, they even sometimes need to carry a tripod with them, which is perhaps the most awkward item of equipment to carry known to B. Sapiens.
Even in those 30 blips, decreased waist size can be seen in the Homo Sapiens fossil record. Basically brought about by walking more and drinking less.
About 10 blips ago, just before the appearance of the assignment roundup culture, the creative streak in Blippus Sapiens was reawakened and his photographs became markedly more sophisticated, incorporating a wider variety of techniques and post processing madness. Although they did not yet include RAW processing and filters, B Sapiens new these were coming, perhaps at Christmas time when more memory cards and disk space arrives. As Blippus Sapiens continues to evolve, fine artwork, in the form of photographs to make you laugh, smile and think, musical instruments, and cave paintings, appeared over the next 20,000 blips (well perhaps not that many).
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Thanks to Joe and all at blip central for everything and for you lot for all your comments and support.
And a special prize if you actually read all of that drivel :-)
Thanks also of course to Mrs42 for putting up with all of this...
- Nikon D200