......more flowers and cards.

Today we went to choose our son's burial site.

It still doesn't seem real. I know it will hit me when we don't have anything to do.

More documents to sign, more phone calls.

And then, the courier comes, and it's a parcel for Christian. A very expensive gaming mouse, that hadn't worked had been sent back for repair. It came back today. Christian had never used it. Tears loomed.

Alexandra and I went out to post thank you letters to the doctors and hospital, and to send notifications to people who don't have e-mail.

Returned. another courier had been. This time a special edition playstation game. He'll never play it. More tears.

There's more a half drunk drink in the fridge, a packet of crisps not finished.

It was bad enough the day after Christian died, when I had a phone call from the hospital trying to make a new appointment for him, for a few minutes I was lost for words, then of course I realized they wouldn't have known he had died.

We're now having a problem choosing music for the service. All of a sudden we are running out of time.

Also, Sophia has been behaving strangely, she's either very, very quiet, or pacing around and around. She must be so confused.

Thank you so much to everyone who has commented in the last few days, it is very much appreciated and very comforting. I would also like to thank PlanW for sending me her beautiful rose.

I know I'm not the only one in this situation having read xtine's journal in the last few days. So Blip makes you realise we are not alone in our grief and despair, there are others out there too.

God Bless you all.