A teatime tale

Buenos Dias.

My name is Carlos. The funny lady with the camera and the lovely boy who wears Liverpool shirts a lot think that I am their pet.

Oh no no no.

It is they who are MY pets.

I have them well trained you see.

When they get up of a morning, they switch on my lamps so that I may get toasty warm and bask on my woundrous branch.

Then, they bring me dreamy cricket-y treats.

They like to watch me eat. They are strange, these human pets of mine.
During the day, I will leave them a little 'present' which the funny lady comes and clears away.

She talks to me. Does the crazy lady think that I will one day answer her back. She must understand that I am above talking to lowly human pets.

Later today, they did something unusual.

They gave me a bath.

I like to make them think I don't like having a bath by rampaging around my vivarium and making it difficult for them to get hold of me. I believe it is called "playing hard to get"? Eventually, I let them hold me - it's quite nice and lovely really. Then they hold me over the bowl of water and rinse me over and over again. I like to drink the droplets of water as they trickle down my nose. My tail feels much better for having a soak - I haven't managed to completely shed just yet.

I basked on the lovely boy's hand for a while, whilst crazy, funny camera lady took some photos of me.

I like having my photo taken.

One day, I would like to be a famous Beardie. Like Billy Connolly.

After I had enough of basking, I waited patiently for my tea-time treats.
Yummity yum.

I had to smile sweetly at first, then the treats were released.

I dismissed them in short order, rather like the wondrous England team destroying the Aussie opposition.

The last one was a bit chewy - I opened up to show the crazy lady, thinking maybe she might find me a tastier morsel. But No! I had to persevere and ended up looking like I was doing an Elvis impression.

Just for good measure, I stuck my tongue out at her.

That will teach her!