Call the Fire Brigade.

On my way home I saw a fire tender in Henderson Row, not sure what the fuss was about. Then further up the road there was a taxi with it's bonnet propped open and the engine covered in white stuff. Dramatic or what?

Reminded me of an incident. One evening, years ago, I was sitting on my couch listening to music when next door's smoke alarm went off. I waited a few minutes, and when it became clear they were not going to hit it with a broom handle I went out onto the stair and knocked at their door. No answer. So I poked at the letter box, and tried to convince myself that there was no strange smell. Eventually I realised that I either dialed 999 or went to bed. With that alarm sounding. So I dialed 999. A few minutes later the engine arrived with sirens blaring and lights flashing. They didn't knock on my neighbour's door. They hammered on it. And much to my shame, my neighbour answered the door in his PJs. Time to vanish thought I. The Firemen almost stormed my neighbour's flat as I retreated behind my own front door.

A little time later someone switched the alarm off and then there was a knock on my door. Better face the music thought I. Wasting peoples time and acting hysterically. Take the telling off and don't do it again. At my door was a HUGE fireman.

Are you the woman who called us out? asks he.

I nod.

It wasn't a smoke alarm, says he.

It was a carbon monoxide alarm, and they were both in there sleeping. Good call Ma'am.