Dark Eyes

I hate it when the Dark Lord Sauron comes round for a few cans of a Friday night. He fiddles with his palantir while people are talking, his flaming lidless eye always singes the cat, and when the takeaway shows up he sits staring at the onion rings for hours, whispering IIIII SEEEE YOOOOU at them. But then, on the other hand, we can use him to grill toast, so in many ways he's the perfect party guest.