Swimming Against The Tide

By ViolaMaths

Pink Buddleia

We have two buddleia bushes in our garden. When we moved in we had great ambitions to get to grips with gardening, and these two buddleias, three conifers and a rose bush that has never been tended to are the only remnants of that ambition since we realised that neither of us is any good with the garden and that just mowing the grass the landlord left for us is more than we can really manage.

Despite my best efforts as a horticultural numpty, the buddleia looks good each year. This is the pink one and we also have a dark purple one - both are in full flower at the moment and have grown massively since I pruned them earlier in the year. Felix likes to sleep underneath them on warm days and to try his luck at catching butterflies when he's feeling energetic!

Back to some semblance of "normality" today. Wonderspouse back at work, me sorting out admin at my desk and getting the house a bit sorted, appointment with the job lady this morning - I've nearly finished my time with her, and then I shall be deemed well enough to be treated just by my GP and to go into the big wide world on my own, although the support is always there if I have another big episode of mania or depression.

It did feel rather strange to return to the mental health place today - life has moved on so far since I first went there a few years ago that I hardly feel like the same person. When I look back to February 2010 and think how much has changed in the last 18 months I can hardly believe it. All good though, just need to get myself back into a gentle job that I can sustain and get the finances stable again and hopefully we'll be in for a spell without too much turmoil! Fingers crossed!

Another marker of how well I now am is that I've been blocked / unfollowed / unsubscribed here on blip etc. by more of "himself"'s friends (those of you who've followed this for a while will know that "himself" is a person online who has taken against me for no apparent reason and with no explanation), and I don't really care any more. I'm living more and more in the real world, having fun with real stuff and real people (and real rats and cats) that I don't worry if there are those who are so strongly influenced by him that they ditch me. The real friends who really care are there, and I'm moving on to pastures new in life!

Anyway, talking of such pastures, time to go back to the other desk and get on with stuff!

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