F***ers!

What a wonderful sight. Watery, late morning sun over the bay, dark clouds, dappled sunlight on the dunes and shadowy hillsides.

But wait!

What are those scruffy things on the dune on the extreme left?

Baboons. And I've just chased them out of the house which is out of picture on the left.

The house belongs to a neighbour and as me 'n Mrs Flaneur walked past this morning, I heard glass breaking. Thinking that a burglary was in progress, I walked around the house and found a downstairs window broken, glass everywhere and a large male baboon flashing his awful red arse at me as he let himself in.

Deep breath. This is a wild animal. A male baboon weighs about 75kg, is shockingly strong and is equipped with a set of teeth that wouldn't disgrace a large member of the cat family.

Discretion and all that, so I pulled out my phone and called the owner of the house, who in turn alerted his security company. All the while there was mayhem going in inside.

In addition to the crashing and banging of doors, furniture and crockery, there was a constant shrieking from the young as they squabbled over the spoils.

Security man and owner arrived about half an hour later. We had managed to deter any more baboons going in, but those inside were having a fine old time.

Once the doors were open, we entered and proceeded to chase out not the one or two simians I thought were inside, but at least fifteen of the buggers! They were very panicky and were scrambling up the curtains, rails, furniture, sofas, beds, everywhere trying to get out.

There was food and baboon kak (you can work out what that Afrikaans word means) everywhere. Baboons have little or no sphincter control and as a result of the excitement, it just pours out. Everywhere.

And, when they've kakked, it then gets spread over the floor, walls, furniture and anything else that might look interesting. Meanwhile, those troupe members who have taken a break from bowel evacuation are opening cupboards, fridges and anything else that might hold food with which they can quickly make more kak.

Empty packets, wrappings, broken eggs, flour, spilled milk and lots of excited urine quickly join the rapidly growing mountain of kak, turning the house into a midden.

I chatted with the home owner for a short while and left him to clear-up. I might wander past later and see how he is getting on and ask if he needs help. He was planning to get a cleaning service in - either way, he's in for a long day.

Leica D-LUX 3