not the festivals #5

aka: clouded perspective

talked with himself (albeit online via instant messaging) for the first time since the bombshell of thurs night. predictably unpleasant in places (things to do with said bombshell); ok in others. we've always had a weird thing where we could talk about stuff and give advice even when we're part of the problem - can we do it here? not sure. to a degree, maybe. and yes, things always change anyway, so how we were was never going to be in aspic, perfectly formed forever (it had already changed a lot). but this is so fundamental a change in circumstance as well as being such a fundamental shift in my perception of the past months (year? dunno - another question on the list) and such a fundamentally horrible feeling that i'm not sure it can be fixed to the extent that i thought we had fixed us just a couple of weeks ago.

one piece of advice i'll burden you with: it's good to talk. guys, when you have something to say, say it. if there's information to impart, do it asap - none of this waiting for 'the right time'; it doesn't exist. don't know how to say it? try this: 'i don't know how to say this, but i felt you should know that this has happened.' do not subject someone in your life to what i am going through right now, ok?