A Straw Is Your Friend

"When I'm drinking, I like to have a straw, you know what I mean? A straw enables you to drink without using your wrist. A straw is your friend...until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then he'll betray you and make you look like an idiot. I have to act like I'm surprised or something, like, cover it up, you know?:

"My God! That's what you had for breakfast?!"

Then I've gotta pull the straw to the side:

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! The last time I checked, you were right by my mouth! What the hell are you doing on the other side of the glass?! I don't need you. You're a luxury." - Demetri Martin

http://ozzie3000.tumblr.com/post/1171642167/the-straw-joke-is-about-30-seconds-into-the-video

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