Killing Time

"Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future."
Wiki

Someone dead clever (doffy) the other day worked out that one of my days is equivalent to 7 human days. So it has been the equivalent of 28 days since I had a walk! 28 days! That's like the whole of February. No wonder I am ready to kill aprecious. She does rattle on. So. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Here are my favourite techniques to get aprecious to shut up. I think some of these work in human to human interaction too.

1. I look out of the window. And then I go and find the Ginger Pudding and talk to him instead. Sometimes I chew the rocking chair.
2. I look directly at aprecious, and then I do something unexpected. Parachuting off the couch can work as a distraction.
3. When aprecious asks why I am ignoring her, I don't answer her. I go and get the innards of my basket and do a tango with it. Vincent Simone, eat your heart out.
4. Keep avoiding - eventually aprecious will stop talking. Hopefully. I tried this on our walk last week and it worked really well. She was reduced to a gibbering wreck.
5. Just stare. I focus on the spot between aprecious' eyes until I go a bit fuzzy with concentration. Then I play with my green monkey. I don't think you should play with your green monkey in high level meetings if you're trying this technique.
6. Find a way to keep her mouth shut. Possibly with your paws. Nails might also work. Or super glue.

I am sure there are lots of other techniques but these are the best I've found.

Off to the Vets now. Oh yes, almost forgot - if you look at my tummy you can see my war wounds.

Morning all. We are off to have the all clear and will almost certainly walk. I will take a picture of Maud later and post it on the Blipfolio. Three whole days. Hope you have a lovely weekend!