madchickenwoman

By Madchickenwoman

Paradise

A windy, cold, wet, grey day - yet I am in paradise! 
This is the first day of my non-working life proper in 2015. No work, nothing to have to go out for, no hospital visit with friend. Just a day to relax in, to do as I please. Plus the money I had been waiting for and that had gone out of the solicitors bank yet not into mine, was finally  tracked down and transferred to my account yesterday! Was cause for concern over the entire holiday for of course banks closed and solicitors closed from Xmas Eve to monday New Year! My fear was that someone, somewhere, was having a very nice time with it!!!
The sad part of my being in paradise is that it is my parents money that has allowed me to go sooner rather than later - I would rather they were both still here.I still would have left my old job - but I would have had to have found something else for a few more years. Money may not give you happiness, but it certainly gives peace of mind and the chance to stick 2 fingers up to the powers that be - now that was very pleasing! 
It seems , I can't think of the right word, bizarre / unreal / unbelievable / flippant even? to be quite so happy, so balanced. After 2 years the grief over my parents death has settled, I miss them but the keenness of grief has passed. The situation with my friend is, again words fail me, a nightmare. But perhaps all this and a good 10 years of not being in a balanced state - bereavement, hormones, work and the enormous stress it unnecessarily caused due mainly to shocking management,  means that now, free of this, I can breath again. I am mindful of the fact that life can be very short, that at any moment, in an instant, circumstances can change and life will never be the same again. So I am taking everything  that comes to me with open arms - I am not a Pollyanna, I know only too well that to put it simplistically, heinous crimes, injustice  and corruption, selfishness,  seem rampant everywhere. But I do what I can to support those fighting this, and am mindful in my life not to support those companies who flagrantly exploit others. But at this moment in time I am also going to relish the good place I am in. Maybe if I nurture myself and those I care for, whatever bad that may be  lurking in the future,I will weather without being pulled under once more. 

Hmmm - sorry for that outpouring - these are the inner thoughts that churn in my head.  Every now and then its good to take mental stock of where you are and how you feel - what better place than my journal! 

So back to the pleasant things to be savoured in life:- 

I think my state of bliss was assisted by brunch - scrambled egg with 4 eggs from Milly and Tilly, mushrooms, buttermilk pancakes with blueberries and syrup, fried bread. On the side as I was making this was a bottle of cava I had bought from Aldi the day before, and a set of champagne mixers I never got round to using over Christmas. Why jolly well not I thought! So cava and blood orange mixer it was with my fry up! Now on my second glass and feeling very good thank you very much! 
 My bird of Paradise flowered over christmas and I had been meaning to take it - so today seemed like the perfect day! More playing around in Lightroom!!

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