Fading

... glory - my favourite bit of tulips' life-cycle I think.

I see now that I have been suffering the loss of a kind of naive innocence.  I still wanted to believe that it was some kind of miracle or gift from god that a place like Blip (was) could exist for free on the net.  It's that one little phrase 'for free' that makes it illusory.  I wanted to still believe in Santa.

I've been kicking against the actual truth of the matter.  Disillusion finally dawned with the observations and speculation on this post from Lynn today.  Disillusion is a wondrous thing so utterly freeing, so long as you don't fall into cynicism; getting there the most painful thing (else why would we cling to illusions for so long?)

Blip, and our community, ARE a gift from god, now on a more commercial, less philanthropic basis.  I'm so glad I got to experience the glory of Blip in its infancy and I'm so glad that it and we are still here.  

Thanks for bearing with me and sharing your views as I writhed in pain, not pretty, definitely downbeat at times.  Each of your truths, pretty and ugly helped me get here and I thank you for that.  You/we are the beauty of Blip - thank god, Joe and now Polaroid for the platform.

Edit:  conversation continues (helpfully, I think) here,

I keep forgetting to mention that there's a documentary on Channel 4 of a chap walking the length of the Nile.  Episode 2 has some footage of the cattle camps in Southern Sudan (as well as the war) and Episode 3 shows the sweet, sweet nature of the Sudanese.  Tonight he reaches Egypt, not quite so interesting to me.

♯am writing