Prozac.

Today was the day, that I have waited for, for about a month now. My doctor has put me on 'Prozac' apparently. I read the leaflet and it says that for the first month or so you'll probably feel more depressed, and potentially want to kill yourself. So this is going to be interesting, that's for sure.

But yes, I think they'll do me good, over time. After the 'wanting to kill yourself' part, has passed.

So today I went to Bethan's to talk to her about serious stuff. For about an hour we just at around chatting in the sun and I was sitting with her cat Tiger, I find it so hard to be serious around Bethan when she makes me laugh and smile and whatnot, it reminds me how much I love her. But nevertheless, today went well.

Eventually after we'd caught up on le gossip and i'd hugged her and such, I told her what I had gone there to tell her, and she admitted to it. I knew that she would, she's sensible despite all this confusion. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders now that she knows that I know. I told her that if it was anyone else they wouldn't be as accepting as I am, and she agreed, and when I asked if she'd want me to break up with her, she said no.

She might be coming round tomorrow, which'd be nice. I am having a few people over but people keep cancelling for one reason or the other, either way so long as it's sunny, I am hoping she can come, because it'll be nice to just chat the way we did today. It reminded me that underneath all the relationship-type nonsense that we are in, she is still and always will be the best friend who's hair I went over to dye, and who's cat I am strangely obsessed with.

She's coming over tomorrow night because I had planned an after exam thing, but lots of people couldn't come so there was no point, instead she's going to come over and we'll go to the river and chill, i've always wanted to take her there but the weather's always been shit, i'm forcing her to wear a dress, so expect a cute blip of my girlfriend tomorrow!

I'm a little annoyed at certain unrelated aspects of today, can't decide what I think about them. But they're crawling around in the back of my mind. Hmm.

I'm very proud of her for working so hard on her poetry and i'm even more proud to read it and know how wonderful she is. She puts herself down though, she writes beautifully, I know that she'll realise this one day, despite what she says.

Oh and, I love you Bethan, just so you know. As you're probably reading this as per, you nosy mare. :P

~

"You should dye your hair black because then i'll be like asdfghjkl hells yeeeeah."
"Mleh, yeah, I may as well :)"
"YAY."