Rumble in Rossendale?

"The main difference between street fighting and a self-defence situation is that a street fight is avoidable..."

Wiki

I live on the right side of the house. As you look at it, I mean. The right side. I am allowed to infiltrate the left side of the house to watch television (not keen on all this football, but aprecious seems to like it a bit too much) and to sleep. In the middle, is what I like to think of as 'no man's land.'

What it should really be called is 'no-Alf land' because he is the main reason for the 'BIG' divide. If there wasn't a big divide I could run about all over. But there is.

On the right live all the cats but one. On the left lives Moomin.

This morning, 'no Alf land' was breached. I noticed. aprecious and Snotty did not. I could have told them, but I preferred to butter up Alf with a bit of a distraction for his covert plan. So, I did a bit of juggling. A bit of skipping. And a pirouette. Success. He snuck through so he could do his worst.

Perhaps I would be in for a reward?

Carnage. Moo running with wild eyes, much hissing, much growling and much hideous cat fight noise, and ALL of her food scoffed by Alf! He didn't even offer to share with me the blue meanie, after I covered for him and everything. I should have liked a little bit. I give-up on him - he's just a selfish ball of black and white fluff. Not even a word of thanks. That's the last time I do anything for him.

And all security plans are being re-considered. Passports will need to be stamped. From now on we'll be given the once over with a security 'bat' and be made to empty our pockets by guards on the door. Maybe even frisked for contraband.

What a selfish boy that Alfie is.

The speller check on Blip drives me bonkers. I wish there was some way of overriding it. Whenever I type in aprecious - it changes it to apricots. It's not even close. What is it, like a word disassociation game? You type 'camera' - it writes 'club biscuit'. You type 'flower' - it writes 'foreign currency.' Okay I'm exaggerating, but apricots??

Edit at 10:00am - I should have said auto-correct. BUT it's maddening whatever it is, especially if you forgot your glasses and are squinting at the screen.