No Brownie Points.....

I have a sign hanging on the café wall which says 'Our customers won't love us if we give them bad service - but our competitors will!'

This is aimed directly at my mother Dora, who 'helps' in the cafe three mornings a week. She's a hard worker (well, she adds a certain air of glamour to the place) but customer service is an alien concept to her.

This morning, a man ordered a latte. 'I don't want cow's milk, I want soya,' he said 'and not full fat or semi, but skimmed. With a sweetener.'

Dora wasn't impressed. 'Anything else you wouldn't like?' she muttered. 'Hot water perhaps?'

'Actually,' said the customer, 'make it decaff, would you.'

Dora sighed heavily. 'One latte,' she yelled to Amy in the kitchen. 'No dairy, no fat, no sugar, no caffeine. Oh yes,' she smiled brightly at the man, 'and no bloody taste!'

I think I'm going to have to go over customer relations with her. Again....