If you go down to the shops today.......

I do virtually all of the shopping in this household so I consider myself a fairly savvy shopper. Granted, the odd impulse buy makes its way into the trolley but as a general rule I can be in and out of the supermarket in fairly record time. This morning we needed a few things so down to the shop I went. Big mistake. Being Valentine's Day, the aisles were full of men and children who had presumably been sent out/volunteered to do the shopping to 'give Mum a break/treat/rest' (delete as appropriate). Clearly, none of them were used to shopping so there were scenes of mild chaos all over the place and the largest number of bemused looks I have seen in one place in a long time. Now ladies, before you send your man out in these circumstances you should give him a few lessons in supermarket etiquette, beginning with these two:

1. Garlic is sold per unit. It does not need to be weighed and no matter how long you press buttons on the scales holding everyone else up, you won't find it.

2. If he hasn't bought you a Valentines card already, this morning is too late. He's already in trouble.