One at a Time please, no coach parties

Got on the scales today and realised why my clothes don't fit me.

Bugger.

Diet from today, must loose 2 stone before the end of March.

Going on holiday in April to Barbados and Antigua. My friend Karen thinks we would have more chance of finding a bloke if we went where blokes go. And where do they go? Sporting events. So it's off to the Caribbean while the cricket is on.

What do I know about cricket?

1. It's boring
2. ..........................

I need some hints and tips about cricket that I can bring up in coversation that makes me sound knowledgeable about the game.

Like...understanding the off side rule.