Surprise!

In the 16 years I have lived here I have never seen ducks on the roof opposite me! Pigeons, crows, seagulls yes, but never ducks! They certainly looked very content perched up high looking over the valley!
The other surprise was the possible diagnosis  I got from the Dr today - I may have a thyroid problem. Chrissie1butter first alerted me to this being a cause of me waking with a racing heart - I dismissed it at the time thinking all my odd symptoms were a cause of my erratic sleeping pattern due to me coming off HRT and allowing the menopause to manifest itself -I hoped given a few more months things would settle. However yesterday my swallowing was worse than it has been for a while,it has always been sensitive, not helped by choking on sweetcorn once! it wasn't my throat that seemed funny but I had to make a conscious swallow, for a while I have experienced a discomfort in my neck, having to position my head and neck in a certain way to ease the feeling at night. With Chrissies thoughts on the matter I felt my neck - it did feel like there was a lump, so I looked in the mirror - it did seem like it was enlarged - the word "goitre" came to mind. I remember some presenter on TV having this - can't remember whom. 
Isn't it always the way when you look at a particular body part that is causing a problem, you don't know if it has always looked or feels the way it does you have just never paid any attention to it before. I decided I was being a hypochondriac and open to suggestion, it was all down to the menopause.
In the morning the funny feeling was still there so I decided to go to the Dr and have it looked at - expecting to be told it was all in my head. I did the allotment chickens and some weeding, got home, showered and phoned the Dr and to my surprise got an appointment for midday! That was a bit of a worry - usually have to wait to get to see anyone! I dropped Friend to her chemo, got chicken food, locusts and food for me ( puddings mostly!!) and made it to the Dr's in time.
No doubt about it - from my symptoms he suspected thyroid and after feeling my neck said yes enlarged on both sides! So blood test next wednesday to confirm, possibly a scan to clarify if needed to see if anything particular is causing it. The relief was phenomenal - to know I was not imagining the lump, the sensation, that I was not suffering anxiety for some reason unknown, miss swalllowing being the catalyst for panic attacks in the past which I put down to the the culmination of losing both parents and work stress. The interesting fact is that the thyroid is a great mimic, and can cause all the symptoms associated with menopause - hot flushes etc and can therefore go undiagnosed for quite a while. So now I am wondering if I have in fact gone through that and just how long have I had this problem. It does explain my days of high activity followed by days of lethargy and low mood, I just thought I'd overdone it and with the disrupted sleep was then paying the price! 
So back to Friend to wait as they pumped the chemo into her and then home to sleep! I now am not sure how i feel - my initial euphoria at having an explanation for all the ways I have been feeling emotionally and physically have given way to anxiety about the confirmation of diagnosis. I did ask about cancer, being an ex smoker it had to be considered by me, but he felt not. Hopefully it is just over or under functioning, apparently it goes from the former to the latter, and drugs will sort it - but the thought of nodules and an op is enough to send me into a spin given my issues with swallowing and even going to the dentist, and I have refused anaesthetic  for both a camera down my nose to look at my throat due to lumps  on the back of my tongue, and to a camera up my rear to my stomach due to a bleed, because of this.
Let me introduce myself to the group : - 
" My name is madchickenwoman and I obviously have issues!!! "
But now I can possibly blame my thyroid and not the menopause and actually maybe I am saner than I think!  Maybe I'm not who I think I am - maybe I will function in a different way once treated - watch this space!