Selfishness

I have so many different emotions going on lately. My brother, Travis' death changed my life entirely. We felt when he died some people felt, thank you it's over. My mum and I were left to deal with all the pain alone. We felt as if we were thrown into a gutter to die ourselves. I broke off part of the plastic part that keeps the razor blade in place so I could use the edge of it. I got really upset and made little deep cuts and they started to sting a little and bleed. I made a big mistake, and yes I know I was acting stupid, and that stupidness almost cost my life. I thought of my mum, who is still struggling with the death of her baby boy. I wouldn't want her to cry again, no. I promised myself not to let her down ever again. Thank you mummy, stay strong. You're the only one I left..