Farewell My Love

Avrum aka Arvin Chaikin - December 31, 1928 to May 14, 2017

Arvin has gone. He has been moving very swiftly towards this moment for several days. Today around 2:30 he died. I was out of the room with my friend Anna while a caregiver was helping him. Anna and I sat in the sun in the courtyard for about 15 minutes. When we went back in his room I could see immediately that he was gone. I have been telling him how much we all love him. His last words that I understood, day before yesterday, were that he loved me and everyone in the family. I have been with him for much of the time. I've played music for him and sat with him and caressed him. I will miss him so much but I know that his departing is a good thing. No longer will he be stuck in a world that he can no longer engage with. No longer will he suffer all the loss. So though I am sad I am also full of joy for him, that he was able to leave so quickly and so soon after moving to Silverado. Before he died I remembered his totem animal, the raven, and his favorite wild animal, the cheetah, and I told him of the picture I had of him running free over the savannah, the fastest animal on earth. And I told him I could see him flying free and high, his black wings sparkling, as the raven. I think he decided to go and it helped him to know it was okay for him to leave, that we would be okay. Lynda sent me this poem by Rumi. It says it all perfectly.

On The Day I Die

On the day I die, when I'm being
carried toward the grave, don't weep.

Don't say, "He's gone! He's gone!"
Death has nothing to do with
going away.

The sun sets and the moon sets,
but they're not gone.  Death
is a coming together.

The tomb looks like a prison,
but it's really release
into Union.

The human seed goes down in the ground
like a bucket into the well where
Joseph is.

It grows and comes up full
of some unimagined beauty.

Your mouth closes here
and immediately opens
with a shout of joy there.

          - by Jelaluddin Rumi,
            13th century Sufi Mystic