The First Blooms of the Season

The first few days of winter have been extra chilly....Im feeling it.

Even though I am still pretty crook I am going in to see my Dad...I started off wearing a cloth mask but every time I breathed it fogged up my glasses .......couldn't see a bloody thing.

There is an immense sadness watching the decline of ones Father/Mother.
Memories of childhood race back and I remember him and how he would  make me feel so safe and loved...how strong and vital he was....so much to remember really.
He seems to be hanging by a thread .......fragile  but still not quite broken...he told me he wanted to go he's had enough.....and yet I wonder if I have had enough of my lovely Dad...but its not up to me ......I have to sit back and honour what is happening for him.
I just wish I didn't feel so ill ......all my emotions are swirling around in a sea of fog and I feel as if I am not so present with it all.....savouring my time with him like I would wish.

Today his thin hand found mine and for about an hour we just held hands.......I cant remember the last time we did that.

There is still so much to write of the last few days.......especially about the
overnight stay of my Mum. Her car broke down...we took it to a mechanic but they wanted too much money to fix it......we called a tow truck which we had to wait nearly 2 hours for. I managed to get her up the big steps into the cab of the tow truck...her red shoes and her little dog.
She told me that she got scared as the driver was texting whilst driving......my brother who is a policeman found out and phoned him up to tell him off last night.

There has been so much and Ive just managed to scrape through the days.
At least there wasn't anything too nefarious in my chest xrays...just enough to keep me laid low for a while yet.

I did have another little go at focus stacking these gorgeous poppies....and shhhhhhhh! I have been looking at doggies on the net...........life just doesn't feel the same without a dog......I still miss my little Rumi everyday.