The power of the Force

You simply couldn’t make it up.
 
Half a dozen 5-man inflatable boats are pulled out of the Channel and the UK faces meltdown. Home Office Minister Sajid Javid (boy has he been a great disappointment) has called it a “Major Incident” and is about to shout down the phone line to his French counterpart demanding they take them all back.

Gold Commanders (?) have been appointed to coordinate police, armed forces, border force. No doubt all the Trident nuclear subs are on standby.

UK Immigration Union spokesperson calls it "frightening - we don't know what ideologies they are importing". Fears are that Brits are smuggling themselves back into their own country after leaving to fight ISIS.

She was no doubt employed some while back by David Wood the then chief civil servant for immigration under the compassionate rule of Mrs May. He said today:
"Britain's border force, coastguards and lifeboats are being used as a taxi service for migrants. The answer is to return them to France as soon as they are picked up. Given that the immigrants travelled from France, it would not be unlawful if the French agreed."

Mr Wood has not got the slightest idea of international law. I look forward to HMG insisting the French take back British Terrorists! Simply appalling behaviour from a former senior civil servant. Perhaps he can expect a Gong in an Honours List soon. He and his Conservative party friends accusing the French of total ineptitude should consider that on Brexit, the UK will not be protected by the Dublin Agreement and even those who had previously applied for asylum in another EU country, CANNOT be sent back to EU countries. And the sooner the French end the agreement on having the UK border at Calais, so much the better.


Can you just imagine what would happen if just one of the hourly arriving 50-man inflatables that landed in Greece in 2015, was to be spotted off the White Cliffs?

Try getting your head around 1 million arriving at your border in a couple of weeks. No don’t ...... there won’t be a soul left on the island to pay me my UK pension.
 
Anyone asked where Jacob, Michael, Liam and Boris are on holiday? Northern France perhaps? Anyone seen an Instagram post from them taken in a marine supplies shop? I can hear Jacob, crying out on his Pleasure Trips pier cash desk: "Bonjour - Lovely day out today. Room for one more. A couple of hours still till your first cuppa" and Boris and Liam singing in harmony their sea shanties and "We do like to be bord de la Mer" while Michael shows all the worried faces the EU CE-Safety Mark while holding his thumb over "Only on the Serpentine & Green Park pond"

Expect COBRA to be sitting any moment now but it will be too late. Labour will agree to form a coalition government with Jacob and the ERG. Parliament will re-gather for an emergency vote for an immediate NO Deal Brexit effective Monday night 11:00 pm GMT

 Pathetic.
 
Anyone ever thought about how many words there are in common use in the English language to describe foreigners? Hundreds. Most are too vile to be listed here but are on Wiki.
 
It’s part of the English mentality to denigrate the foe in any way possible. The viciousness increases with the degree of skin colour as soon as it moves away from pale white towards Boots Factor 10 UV through olive to black.

And of course, the English don’t stop there. Can’t forget the disguised enemy on the borders: The Frogs, Krauts, Hun, Polaks, Dagos, Cheeseheads …..

But not let’s forget the very close neighbours who speak the same language: Paddy. Mick, Bogtrotter, Taffy, Sheep-shagger, Jimmy, Jock, Scotty ……
 
I think I must be living a very sheltered life. Try finding any other language that has such a large selection. Some countries do have a nickname for the Brits but they are largely friendly. The Poles, Czechs and Hungarians use words based on Anglo – Anglik, Anglan, Angolok. The French, Rostbifi and probably the worst which I have never heard in 30 years of living here, the German “Inselaffe” or Island Ape! Tommy and Limey (USA) are long dead and buried.

 And of course the massive library of racist, ethnic English language “jokes” is legendary and the more one can put down a race or nation so much the better. To make things worse the damn foreigners laugh along WITH the British. Crack the "Don't mention the war" in the Hofbrauhaus on a Saturday night and you will bring the house down. Rather spoils the fun. Again I can’t remember hearing such a joke in Germany aimed in the reverse direction i.e. at the Brits.
 
BUT on the day any damn foreigner criticises Britain, then all hell breaks loose. The veracity of the counterattack is only beaten by that which they reserve for their own people who do such a thing and who are of course immediately branded traitors, tared & feathered.

It’s a trait I love coaxing out, teasing really but of course a red rug to a British bull. But to be frank, it is losing its appeal. It’s so simple and none of them seems to see the funnier side, taking a national trait to be a personal insult. There is no such single tangible thing as “The Brits”. Again that phrase - "Grow Up", stop acting so ridiculously and destroy all that is good in your midsts.

 Remember “Our” wonderful fairytale Princess Diana who made the UK press rich but when she started dating that horrible camel-driver of an Arab, they hounded her to death. Then they wanted to behead the Queen for not honouring the person who came close to ending the British Royalty. And yet today, if you question HM’s choice of hat, you will be thrown in the Tower. And of course, when someone says Royal Wedding, off we go again. Good old Harry has come up with the new plastic £ printing machine and only “We Brits” can do a Royal Wedding. The folk rejoiced until suddenly someone works out the lady is a divorced American (we have kicked out one such King before for this treason) but then it leaks out she is half Irish! By this time the revelation that the other half is Afro-American simply goes almost unnoticed.
 
But we did have ever so much fun and showed how tolerant, world-open, liberal we are when that somewhat “different” rather dark-skinned American socked it to our souls in the hallowed halls of St George’s Chapel. Rock on Reverend. Well, we did, until we could switch the channel and hurl abuse at the football match that evening. Does a football weekend go by without banana skins or equivalent verbal racialist signs getting hurled at non-white players? Strangely not, if it’s an England game and we are winning.
 
The English don’t consider themselves part of the human race. They are superhuman Brits. They are so confident of it that they wear their flag as underpants and socks. Every house uses Union Jack toilet paper and you can't enter a cemetery without wearing one.

 Here an answer to the following dumb question placed by an arrogant English person.
 
Q. If the EU is so good, why have millions of EU residents come to live in the UK? (NB to question-setter: the UK is actually in the EU)

A: 2.5 times more UK citizens have taken up residence in mainland EU as the other way around. (1,600 per 100,000 UK citizens to Mainland Europe – 670 per 100,000 mainland Europeans to the UK)

 The person who answered went on to say:
“There is a fundamental fact about the EU that a certain type of little Englander just can’t get their heads around: the EU is bigger than the UK. Like much bigger in every respect.”
 
Now I can’t be 100% sure but think from his name he is Irish. Heaven help us – The Irish! They have played a special role for centuries in English history. The dumb, stupid, bog-stomping, tatty-munching, potato-famined, simpletons. And yet, day for day for day I see, read and hear things coming from the little Republic that shame the UK in every single way possible. Ireland has become such a self-aware, assured modern strong country, prepared quite openly to discuss their mistakes and problems and actually undertake something to put it right. They achieve in a morning’s sitting of the Dáil what the Houses of Commons can’t do in 3 years.
 
Just like Eddie our Irish cat. He is missing his daily jumping out from behind a bush when his playmates the chicken walk by. They are still cooped up in the enclosure so long as the harriers keep circling. He jumps over the fence from time to time to say hello and have a chat.

To help speed up the message so often used by Mrs May for murdering-free-meal-riding immigrants “Your not welcome”,  he climbed up the electricity pole next to their pen and kept an eye out. Thoughtful lad. I know he would not take advantage of his position should some tit fly by.
 
I was at the front gate in my Darth Vadar outfit – it’s also the place the harriers call “The Killing Field”. Today no persons or animals were hurt as I made another bad job of welding. However, the gate now swings again and I hope the “Jerry- Rigging” fix (what you Brits would call “Afro Engineering”) will hold a while.
 
And as a final thought from my Irish friend:

“Climate Change, Tax Evasion, Terrorism and Immigration. All of these burning issues are supranational problems that fascists and nationalists are promising they can solve. They can't. Trump, Le Pen, Farage and Brexit represent the death throes of a political system based on nation states. Nation States are the problem, not the solution.”

And if I hear one more Brexiteer talk about “the EU” as some alien, out of deep space, all-conquering bulldozer, I will personally attack them (digitally). The EU is a club of 513 million members that was formed by the UK along with 11 other similar minded nations in 1993, The UK has at all times been a fully equal partner in the enormous success of the project and should take great pride in it. Similarly, it should take responsibility for moving the idea forward OR if it feels it no longer wants to be part of the club, it should pay its outstanding dues and wave goodbye with no regrets or recriminations. The EU has never done anything to harm the UK. Why on Earth should it? Certainly, the remaining 450 million want to preserve what they have but they are not putting up one single barrier to the UK voluntarily leaving.

And just a sideline: NOBODY is suggesting the global immigration issue should not be controlled. It must be done in a compassionate way and take regard for the situation caused largely by the "being invaded" countries after centuries of exploitation. Start solving the problems at source and a good place to start is treating all mankind with respect.

I did want to discuss Mr Kipling today but he will have to wait. I’m exhausted after all my electric wand waving.