I shouldn't laugh...
But I did!
Picture the scene this afternoon...
David, Lola and I in the garden room. The sun is shining, the room is quiet and peaceful. No tv, radio or music. Just peace, perfect peace.
I am sitting
in my default position on my chair, feet up, laptop on knee, editing photos that I'd taken last week.
Lola is conked out on the floor after a very enjoyable romp on the moor earlier. She is literally flat out and dead to the world. My phone has pinged a couple of times and there's been not so much as a twitch of her head. She's deep in la la land chasing birds and has been like this for the last half hour.
David is sitting on the sofa. Well, when I say sitting, he was initially, but he is now leaning back, his head almost at right angles to his neck as he rests it on the back of the sofa, arms lying loosely beside him. He is flat out and dead to the world. It would seem his
lad's curry night in Glasgow, last train home, slept in the spare room due to alcohol induced hiccups busy day yesterday has caught up with him. He too is deep in la la land chasing birds? and has been like this for at least half an hour.
Ding Dong (doorbell rings) OH. MY. GOD. All hell breaks loose!!!
To my left, Lola jumps up dazed and confused and makes to run round the sofa to get to the front door, only her brain seems to be sending different signals to each of her legs making them move, but she's not going anywhere....she can't get any traction on the tiled floor and her paws are all over the place. She reminds me of a cartoon dog whose legs run on the spot for a few seconds before the dog actually moves! At the same time, she's trying to bark but all that's coming out is a gruff, hoarse little silly bark, like the way your voice is when you've slept in and your phone wakes you up and you answer it trying to sound like you've been awake for hours but your voice sounds like Lee Marvin singing Wand'rin' Star!
Eventually she makes it round the sofa and races off, her full bark quickly returning (and she's loud for a dainty Golden!)
Meanwhile, opposite me and to the right of Lola, David's head rears at the sound of the doorbell and with eyes manically wide open, he jumps straight to his feet with an expression on his face as though someone has just shouted FIRE! and sets off like a two-bob rocket after Lola....
...only his feet get tangled in his slippers and a pile of Lola's toys that she kindly left beside him, and as his upper propels forwards, his feet drag and he's half falling, half running towards the opposite wall of the garden room beside where I'm sitting, trying to stop himself by reaching out to grab the unit under the window but only succeeding in clearing the surface of it of all the ornaments and house plant AND the 48" flat screen tv!!!!
He managed to land on his knees just as I screamed "telly!!!!!!" as it fell from the unit and landed on the floor behind him.
Lola, meanwhile, was in the hall, having found her voice, barking as though an army had arrived on the doorstep! David got up and hobbled through to the hall, shouting at a her to stop barking, in the same Lee Marvin voice I mentioned earlier!
I sat there in stunned silence looking at the chaos surrounding me and wondering what the hell just happened!
And as the pair of them arrived back from the hall, David limping and ooking like a big glaikit schoolboy, with an Amazon parcel that the guy had just stuck inside the front door, and Lola looking mightily pissed off at getting woken up for no reward, I started laughing and I could not stop.
Even now, every time I think of it, I start laughing. It's taken me ages to type this blip because I keep laughing. My sides are actually sore from laughing.
You probably had to be there :-))
PS Telly is fine, just one of the cables snapped so need to get a replacement one tomorrow (so no watching tv in the garden room tonight.)
Lola had a biscuit and has forgotten the whole incident already. David has a sore foot (Arnica has been applied) and is watching TV in the living room and I am still editing photos in the garden room with peace, perfect peace. And I am still laughing :-))
PPS As a result of all those shenanigans it got to dinner time and I realised I didn't have a blip, so you get me. Not laughing. Just to prove I could.