What ho Jean

Eh?
 
I say Jean have you ever tried your hand at golf
 
No Vince and I don’t intend to either
 
Jean, I find it a great way for taking my mind off things
 
Oh yes ! and what things would they be now
 
Oh you know – this and that
 
This and that what Vince !
 
Personal matters and the like
 
Vince you need to get to the point.  I am just in from work. I’m hungry and I am playing tennis at 8
 
Ok Jean you are very stern with me.     But matters relating to a certain lady dog shall we say
 
Vince we have been over this a million times.   And I know you practiced catching the Frisbee but when you did finally catch it, you decided to chew it to bits, because after all you are a terrier, you know.
 
Yes, yes I know all that stuff – but we have moved on from the Frisbees.    I am a free man without a care in the world.  My time is my own and I am beholden to nobody – except of course to you Jean cos you are my human and you do feed me after all.   So I have taken up golf and I find it very fulfilling.  
 
Okayyy Vince so you are saying that you are finally free of the Suzy Syndrome (Suzy was Vince’s ladyfriend but he hadn't made the depth of his feelings known to her and he couldn’t understand why she didn’t reciprocate).
 
Yes she is nothing to me now.    And it’s such a relief you know.    I am done with taking baths.  Nothing good ever came from baths.  I can swagger around with a cigarette perched behind my ear.  I can hang around street corners with the other single hounds and it’s all good.   It’s all good. I tells yeh.
 
Okay Vince so you have stopped walking past her house nonchalantly on the off chance that she might be snoozing on the front lawn.   You stopped swiping on Wuffinder to see if she is still smiling that smile. You don’t utter her name anymore in your sleep?  Huh! Huh!  I am rapidly running out of patience with you Vince.   
 
Well that makes two of us Jean.   I thought you were my friend.  But no. No. You just keep asking me these difficult questions.   Why don’t you just pat me on the head and coo coo at me the way you always do.  The way you call me Vincemeister sometimes. You know how I like that.
 
But I would like to say for once and for all that I am done with Suzy.   She is nothing to me.  I am going to concentrate on improving my swing and my putting and I look forward to a future filled with games of golf on sunny summer evenings, sipping a Bushmills in the clubhouse and talking to the other golfers about their game.   Yes it’s all coming up rosy Jean.  Suzy is in the past.
 
 
*****
 
 
 
Well that concludes the Vince/Suzy trilogy.       Iacta Alea Est.   The die is cast.   Nothing more to be said, I guess.    Except maybe…….. Fore