One daze at a time...

By Raheny_Eye

Vote Jesus #1

It's the home straight for all the would be saviours of the nation and they are all fluttering the eyelashes for votes. 
Richie Rich Boyd Barrett was canvassing at my Dart station (not just mine, I share it every morning with a few hundred more haggard commuters) and I gave him my armchair political commentator prediction for the Dun Laoghaire constituency. Not having a vote affords me a non biased and dispassionate overview of the situation. I am sure that he was absolutely thrilled with this pearl of wisdom... 

For the record, my predictions for the borough:
1- The Mitch. She's an old pro, she knows the ropes, she works her constituency restlessly all the time, not just at election time. She rocks the yellow and blue look. She's a brand as strong as the other yellow and blue behemoth but she doesn't pack flat. 
I don't think that enough of her number twos (not poos, second preference vote, it's an Irish thing) will transfer to Ward the Walrus, who relatively new on the scene. He pulled the human version of the Blue-ish Submarine stunt at the Forty Foot, but that was it. 

2- Sold-His-Soul-to-the-Devil-Devlin. The man is ripe. He would do anything, ANYTHING for the job that he has coveted for so long. Almost as relentless as the Mitch but not as subtle. Very eager. Too eager. Car salesman eager. He has the suit and the teeth. And he is ripe this time. He will grab one seat. The Naff is past her peak. She was a shite Education Minister. She struggled to make it to councillor. This year is in-bed-with-the-devil-Devlin's year. (Sob) 

3- Ossian-in-the-Ocean-with-the-green-turtles-Smyth Man is the man green. Not in the inexperienced acceptation of the term. Oh no, he is a very astute politician. High visibility councillor. High vis vest, green bike, green jumper. Quite adept at manoeuvring a lawn mower for disgruntled citizens whose patch of communal grass has been neglected by the council. Energetic, eager and green (except that his lawn mover was of the two-stroke engine type). He will keep his fingers crossed that people have forgotten how shite they were as a minority partner in a coalition. They made shag all difference and kept FF in power. This year is their year and Ossian will do well in Dun Laoghaire. On your bike Ossian! 

4- Ritchie Ritch - it's going to be tough for him to hang on to his seat. The default mode for Ritchie Ritch is outraged. About everything. All the time. It loses in novelty after two terms in office. You will have to pick your battles one day RBB. Oh, and you picked a shite photographer this year. 

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