It turns out...
I pride myself in being a person who likes order. A place for everything and everything in its place. I break out in a sweat at the thought of breaking a rule (daughter of a policewoman. Go figure :-))
Every parent evening at Primary school the teacher would comment on how tidy and organised my desk was and how obsessed I was with her desk and how by the middle of each week I could stand it no more, and ask permission to tidy it for her. My Mum would smile sweetly wondering who the hell the child was that the teacher had gotten her daughter mixed up with.
Even at work I had to spend 15 minutes at the start of each day tidying my office and desk in order to think straight and plan my day. A tidy desk is a tidy mind.
Well over the last week it has slowly dawned on me that “my spaces” in the house - my art studio (aka dining room table but art studio sounds much grander ;-) the tables beside my comfy chair, my bedside table, and my dressing table, are all absolutely loaded to overflowing with clutter! I mentioned it, incredulously, to David and he said “yes I know! Bomb sites!”
Of course as soon as I noticed, the urge to tidy took control.
So this morning my bedside table has been cleared of books, diaries hand creams and pens, and my dressing table of nail polishes, lipsticks, two necklaces and earrings (none of these things have been worn since lockdown began) a hairbrush and a watercolour brush (I’d wondered where that had gone!!)
After lunch I tackled my art table and lo behold, once free of all the clutter I painted my first free-let’s-see-where-the-mood-takes-me painting in ages. Result!
It’s not the painting in my blip. This is the one I painted after it but the fact I’ve done two, in no time at all, when I’ve been struggling to get motivated definitely backs up my theory that chaos clouds my mind. Order is needed for learning and for my creativity to flow.
And having always considered myself a obsessively tidy person, I’ve now learned that yes I am, but only when I finally notice the mess I’ve made. And that can take a while! -Insert blushing face- :-)
It also explains why my mum didn’t recognise the neat freak described by my teacher :-)))
So, it turns out that instead of being a tidy person, I’m a delusional tidy person with occasional episodes of tidy enlightenment!