Arran and the Old Farm...

I think I've been writing this in my head for the last week. My grandpa died last week and we went across to The Isle of Arran to bury him next to my gran.

I've never really been an outwardly emotional which I used to think odd of me because these sort of situations don't outwardly affect me. Over the past week I've come to realize that rather than having no emotional response at all, my response is just an over-active mind. Ever since I found out, my mind has been mulling over the effects and consequences and how things might change or differ and how others might be coping. That said, I'm not sure how I would react to someone not dying in old age. There could be more of a shock factor in that.

I'm not particularly sad about it. It will definitely be weird not having him somewhere where we can visit him but at 89 years old he did live a long a filled life and we were well prepared for it as he had been sick for a wee while now. That said, I did get a bit of a lump in my throat whenever Bethany and Ewan were mentioned in the eulegy. I was slightly surprised by this but made me realise I had a physical emotional response.

Anyway, it was a beautiful service and the setting for the burial at Sannox was in a stunning location with absolutely brilliant bright sunny weather and then a little later my brothers and Irish cousins and I went on a wee walk up the road to visit the old farm that our grandpa used to live and work on. It was particularly memory filled as we lived on the farm for a couple of months when we first moved to this country. This picture is taken just to the left of what we called 'The Midden'. A tractor would be driven around the area above the Mini van with a big scoop effectively sweeping all the cow muck up a ramp into a muck spreader waiting in the Midden to the right. It was brilliant seeing how well I remembered this place having not seen it in about 20 years. Everything as I remember it but a lot smaller. In it was me that was smaller and the place felt huge at the time. Wonderful memories.

I always find the decay of human structures very interesting. From dry stone walls, to 3 walled, no roof bothies. I always find myself trying to imagine what these things looked like when first built and what the builders and occupants were thinking and doing when this happened. I can see from the disrepair that the farm has gotten to that this can happen very easily and it saddens me to conclude that I don't think this will survive another generation.