There are some folk who should be.......

The younger brat was persuaded that we needed mobile patrols to prevent incursions by Talibaneighbours. Next door lives a former scientist chap who spent 40+ years of his life researching light. Miserable does not begin to describe his lack of social attributes; his wife is delightful and has a sense of humour. 
In an effort to commence a dialogue I asked him if he would explain, in very layman’s language, the following.
“I understand the concept of Black Holes, how light is compressed and becomes dense as it enters the vortex but what happens at the other side, does it expand and brighten, is it gone forever, is there an example of the reverse side of a Black Hole?” 

“I don’t do science anymore.”

I swear I’ll take him apart. 

Written by a former Booty and guide on HMS Victory James Robinson (RIP Jim), so it must be true. 

The year 1953, the place, Eastney exercise “Runaground,” with the Gloucestershire Regiment.The Landing Craft approached the beach, the Cox’n with an evil grin on his face yelled, “Down Ramp - Out Troops” the standard orders for Royal Marines to hit the beach, (Naughty Beach!) A very young Gloucesters Subaltern asks the Cox’n, 
“How deep is it?”
“2 feet Sir!”
“Right men, follow me!!!!! Shouted the Subaltern, and disappeared below the surface.
“2 feet over your head,” muttered the Cox’n, to the usual howls of laughter from the Marine crew.