Twelve

Evangeline was round this morning, wafting her hands over my slipped disc and muttering about chakras.

All of a sudden, she stopped and squinted into the middle distance. I thought at first it was trapped wind, until she said she had a message coming through from her spirit guide, Norman.

'Does the number 6 mean anything to you?' she asked.

'Ummm...is it Henry the Eighth?' (I like to be helpful).

She ignored me. 'There's a letter Q. And another Q' she said, 'and then.... an M!'

'Definitely Henry the Eighth' I said. 'Q for queens, and....Mary!'

She ignored that too. 'Norman foresees great problems' she said, and then got back to looking for my missing chakras.

Later, I relayed this information to H. 'What on earth does it mean?' I asked him.

'It means' he said, looking pleased with himself, 'that she's been listening to the Radio 2 traffic report - queues on the M6. Simple.'

And off he went, smug as a very smug thing on a smug day out.

Sibi placens, sibi placens, as I like to say frequently....