Dilemma.

This is Bex sat in my garden. We have argued literally all morning.

I don't know what to do. I feel like shit, I don't really care anymore and I don't know if I want to be with her anymore. She annoys me such a great deal sometimes that i feel I could die, but she doesn't mean to, it's just me not wanting how things are to stay the same. I want out.

It's sad because I know she loves me but i'm an utter dick to her and she deserves a world better than me. I just want to go out with my friends and give no fucks. Because we don't act like a couple anyway because I have serious attachment issues since last year, so i'm never going to let her near enough to hurt me, but I know that this is going to crush her if I do go ahead with it.

I end up in such a pickle. I just want me, my cat, cups of tea, and my best friends, and ps1 games and no strings attached.

To top it all off, she has given me bronchitis, after only recently recovering from the hugely painful mouth infection she gave me only 3 weeks ago.
We'll see I guess.