By Hearthmother

Fun or misfortune

Today was a day.
This morning went rather well considering I woke up in little miss 2’s bed (after falling asleep there around 2am) with a sore neck. I could faintly hear the sound of my alarm but couldn’t figure out why it was so quiet, then I realise it’s because it was in the next room. I was not in my bed. Again.

Oh well, shake the body and shake off the sleep, drag my bones across the floor, peel my eyelids from my eyeballs like an old raggedy cloth blind.

Brush hair.
Brush teeth.
Wash face.
Rub eyes that feel like I’ve tipped the Sahara desert into the lids.
Apply face goop
Flap hands around to dry face goop
Apply face paint (makeup)
Get dressed for work

“Say bye to daddy, bye to brother, bye to the cats”
Three attempts later and finally in the car.

That was just the morning…. BEFORE WORK.. tired yet? Yea, me too.

However, I had this feeling today. An Emmeline Pankhurst kinda vibe… “I incite this meeting to rebellion” … look it up, thank me later.

I had so many messages via Teams. Did I answer them? No. Did I message my dear friend about it and cackle maniacally? Yes.

Here’s the thing, if someone messages or emails you…. They are now…. At your mercy.
Because. And. Wait. Ok. Hold on.

They. Message. You.
There is no timer
There is no read receipt (select no to send, if there is).
Especially not your time. You might not be in the same or similar position as me and I respect that. But if you are. You don’t owe them sh*t. Trust me.

Most of my messages started with:

Quick question
Could I ask a favour
Do you have a spare minute
Can you spare some time
If you have a moment can you
Just wondering
If you’ve got time

See the pattern here? Because I sure did. They could log a ticket via our ticketing system, they could have asked ANY.ONE.ELSE. But they asked me, and you know what? They don’t pay my bills or mortgage, they don’t pick up my kids or cook my dinner and they sure as hell don’t bend over backwards for me.

I was in control.
Today I was Cruella Deville. Today I made those who stole my time and energy wait for me.

It was flipping glorious.
I didn’t reply until the very last minute (like 5pm) and most of those replies contained “I’ll take a look on Monday”, “log a ticket” “yes that is a big task, here’s what you can do right now” “you’re right, that isn’t my area”.

I picked up my darling daughter who reminded me that I don’t need to be in control to be happy. I just need to accept and to make decisions in the moment to suit me. We got home and amidst the freezing cold, she wanted to “wosh-ah-howse” (wash the house) and play with the hose. I didn’t argue, I let her play but set the boundaries and when she was proper cold I suggested dinner and a bath, she obliged.

Today was good.
Today I took my power back. I was bold, unapologetic, professional and merciless.
Today, I let out my inner Cruella and I can’t wait for the day to show my daughter how to do the same.

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