Family Treasures, Take 2

I spent the weekend at Mom and Dad's house because my father is in the hospital. My Dad is 93 and my Mom joins him in that number in October. Friday night, I had been summoned to assist in Mom's care. As I mentioned, Gondor called for aid, and they sent ME. (Why? Apparently, Gandalf is dead, and Aragorn and Boromir are now both in assisted living.)

When Mom and I got up and around on Sunday morning, before my sister-in-law Cindy's viewing and funeral, Mom was looking at this family photo, which was sitting on a table in the kitchen, and lamenting how tragic life can be. Such a photo seems especially dear in light of our most recent losses (see here, and here).

So I photographed this family treasure, and now I've blipped it. It is called Take 2, because this family picture I posted earlier was also called Family Treasures. I'll provide the list of who's who below.

My sister-in-law's services would be held in the afternoon at a church in a small rural town about 20 minutes away. It was raining when we got up in the morning, and it poured down pretty much all day. Even the sky was crying, or so it seemed.

I went for a walk in the morning, just a short one so that Mom would not be alone too long. It was raining before I got back, but I had my umbrella. I was walking up the mountain road when a pick-up truck went past me, turned around, and came back.

I thought - uh-oh! - a girl's always gotta keep an eye out for sickos and pervs when walking alone. So I studied my escape routes: into the woods I could go, and disappear in one instant! I am a wild child, practically raised in the woods (no, I didn't say BY WOLVES, I said IN THE WOODS, LOL!), and I am not afraid to take sanctuary there.

But they slowed down and rolled down the window, and it was someone offering assistance, which I found sort of charming. (I also wondered: did I LOOK helpless? I sure hope not! I am much tougher than I seem!) The man was driving; the lady was in the passenger seat. They looked at me with concern. I told them I was just out walking, enjoying a nice summer rain.

Of course, they looked at me like I was looney-tunes under my pink umbrella. I thanked them for stopping to check on me, and they drove off, turned around again, went back in the direction they were originally heading. Good Samaritans. Thank the Lord for them!

My husband had dropped me off on Saturday. On this day, he showed up around noon to pick me up, and we headed for the services, which we all anticipated would be packed (and they were). The rain got worse. It flooded the roads. It ran down the sides of everything, as the sky wept.

We parked at the fire hall and were shuttled to the church, where we all paid remembrance to Cindy. In the photo above, she is in the center, with sons Joseph (standing) and Cameron (in her arms), and with my brother Robin (her husband) behind her.

A thing I give her credit for is how much Cindy loved being a mom to those two boys, and a wife to my brother. These are some of the many things she was good at. She was very good at taking care of family, and was one of the first to step forward when my parents needed anything at all.

Even the pastor cried when we got to the end of the service. It wasn't just words. She had known Cindy personally, been to her house, been her friend, officiated at son Joseph's services, served as one of the rocks that family could lean on, a safe harbor in many of life's storms.

And then back out into the pouring rain we all went. I made the administrative decision that we did not want to leave Mom alone too long. So I grabbed a pair of to-go plates, filled them up with turkey and ham and mashed potatoes and gravy and stuffing. My husband and I left to take them back to my parents' house, where we would eat.

For we had a Big Secret we had been keeping. The hospital had called in the morning, and the doctor told me Dad had aced his physical therapy test. We got the impression it was possible he might even be released to come home on this day.

Julie and I came up with a plan. I was to make sure there would be food at home for our parents. Julie was to go and pick Dad up after the funeral meal, bring him home, and meet us there. What a welcome surprise that would be for Mom!

So while it was a very sad and wet day, I had high hopes and a spring in my step. We took the food home, and offered some to Mom, but she has very little appetite these days. I put the leftovers away in neatly labeled containers in the fridge, thinking Dad would really enjoy some nice snacks when he came home.

But a Facebook chat message from my little sister just before 6 p.m. dashed those hopes. Dad would be staying in the hospital. Physically, he was doing pretty good. Cognitively, there were some issues.

Also, it's often the case that seniors do better during certain parts of the day, less well in others (such as evening hours - this is called sundowning). Eventually, we squared some things away, and my husband and I took leave of Mom and headed back up to our own home. The rain began to slow down, and finally stopped during our return journey.

So . . . I had hoped that my picture for this day would be the grand reunion between Mom and Dad, and with me there to witness it and share our joy. I was going to call it Who Says You Can't Go Home, Take 2. (Hey, at least I got the Take 2 part right!)

But that was not to be. And for good and valid reasons. At this point, family decisions are being made on a moment-to-moment basis. I can't tell you what will happen next, but we wait, we appreciate all the love everyone is sending, and we hope for better days ahead.

My soundtrack song is this one: Bruce Springsteen, with My Love Will Not Let You Down.

Family photo identification
From left to right, in little family groups: Julie and Steve Shirk, Jereomy Maurer (kneeling), Dennis and Marilyn Maurer, Robin and Cindy Colyer and Joseph (standing) and Cameron (in his mother's arms); Lee and Norma Colyer; Pat Colyer (back row, white bib); Anita (that's me in blue) and Steve Graham, and beside me, big sister Barb Colyer.


Additional family photos:
Family Portrait :-)   10/04/15

Family Portrait, Christmas 2018  12/25/18 (this was the final photo of my entire immediate family; we will not be together again, this side of Heaven)

Family Treasures  11/30/19