The end of an era

Mum died this morning at about 0030. I had come home at early in the evening and I expected her to still be alive this morning.

The 'phone call came at 0500. The nurse said they had been trying to contact me but my phone kept "cutting out". I have no idea what that was about because it worked at 0500!

I am relieved, because she suffered a lot yesterday. I don't think I could have coped with another day of her being in pain and I am sure she had had enough. She was sleeping peacefully when I left her last night.

I hardly slept last night, so I am exhausted today. I've been phoning and emailing people to let them know. I had already sent out messages to most people to warn them that Mum was very ill, so they were prepared (I hope). There were some people I just had to 'phone personally.

Everyone has been very kind and wonderful messages keep arriving in my inbox. Some have even made me laugh. Di, an embroidery friend, said:  "I remember her coming ..... (to Sunderland Embroiderers' Guild).....with Maureen and Sylvia, when I was chair.  They all used to sit together on the front row and keep me in order."

Liz spent a lot of the day with me and went to collect Mum's things from the hospital. Margret came too and tonight I ate her very excellent chicken stew for my evening meal.

I find myself talking at great speed about all sorts of things to do with Mum. 

In the garden today, I found a lot of daffodils that had been battered down by last night's rain. I rescued this one and popped it in the some pulmonaria for my blip. Most of the others had been eaten by slugs as the flowers lay on the soil. I love pulmonaria. It is very understated but the colour is quite intense.

It is nearly 25 years since I lived on my own. The house seems eerily quiet, although Mum did not make any noise. Her buzzer, when she needed me, used to break the quietness!

So a new chapter of life begins.