Kim's Big Day

For anyone who has harbored any desire to write, you know how difficult it can be when you have young children in the house. It's impossible to string a coherent sentence together except when your little ones are away at school, or after they've gone to bed, at which point you yourself are often so tired, you fall asleep as well. It's tempting to ponder, "How much more prolific would I have been if I hadn't had any kids?"

But then, on some level I think my creativity has been enhanced because I raised two boys. Being around children and seeing the world anew with them has, over the years, helped me to tear away my jaded outer wrapper and feel life fresh and new.

Today, we moved my younger son Kim into his own apartment. It's a big step. It has been my honor, and my delight to have raised two wonderful young men. Few in this world have had the ability to make me smile from the inside out as Kim has. And few have come into this world with as big a heart, and as keen a sense of observation and imagination. I still hear the little-boy voice shouting from the back seat, "Look mom, that's where they make clouds!", as we passed a refinery, its stacks billowing out white steam.

So yes, maybe if I hadn't had children, I might have had more reserves available for music, and writing, and other creative endeavors. But the rich colors, the tears, the joy, the heartache would have been missed, and that is the fabric from which my life's story has been woven.

I tried to be a good parent, I parented alone for many, many years. Effective parenting is the ultimate pay it forward act: we parent well not so our children will love us enough to stay with us, but so they will be strong enough to leave us.