Party of doom

Today was the party I really could wait for. Half my family were flocking in for my sister's 21st. I got pretty scared but once it had started and I had got myself joining in I felt quite a lot better. It was still hard though - I didn't want to be with everyone so much so tried (unsuccessfully) to eat alone as there 'wasn't enough space'.

I felt like no one actually was interested in seeing me - only one person acknowledged my 'hello' to them. Two people near me were basically flirting the whole time but I didn't quite click what was going on and just felt cut off from any conversation. I felt like occasions that I did speak just ended up in embarrassment on my part. So really, why bother.

I went off to bed for a while. When I returned I was very grumpy. So much for being salt and light and a witness. But luckily it isn't about what I do, but rather what Jesus has wonderfully done. God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Yay!

My mum calmed me a bit and told me to sit down and enjoy myself and soon some people left. The rest of the evening was quite a lot better.

I was thinking how happy I am to hug my mum now and I don't mind being a bit pathetic around her. This is such progress!