A night in

Mannn... I am so behind with all my entries. But for now, time to do some thought work.

I am a bit stressed for a tangle of the following reasons:

-I am aware how much better I am (this feeling has been heightened by texts from a person who is really struggling)
>>My identity is not in my wellness, I don't lose love by getting better. God is with me however I am. I might have to do harder things like work, but I will be freer from those harder things like desperation.

-I don't know what the future holds
>>But God does. He goes before me, he's there beside.

-I feel like I need to be more useful/loving people more
>>I am saved by grace! not by works. Maybe I can talk to Katherine about wisdom in what to do though.

-I want to keep a check on how I am to reassure myself but also want to be focussing on loving others
>>GETTING BETTER IS A GOOD THING and loving others and God is my purpose in life.

-trusting God with everything is hard
>>but God is great, good, glorious and gracious and definitely the most trustworthy rock.

-I don't want to do some of the things I have planned for the next few days
>>think in terms of how I can love others. Still hard, but I have God with me and opportunity for rest.

-I feel a bit of a fraud as I should be at a birthday celebration right now but I bailed
>>I have been very, very tired today and anyway! no point regretting what I can't change now. Also. GRACE.

-I think I feel quite in need of other people's love
>>as it happens! many people do love me, even though I don't quite believe it/feel it always and most of all God loves me.

And now...sleeeep!