'You dirty rat!'

Can you believe it? That mother of mine called me a dirty rat today for not having an English tenner!

The world (or maybe just mom) has gone mad.

I told mom I hardly ever have any English notes as whenever I am in Scotland I stock up with enough currency so I don't need to get any money in England. I only found two places in Solihull that refused my Scottish notes - a jewellers where I went for a new watch strap and a pub - and I have not been in either place since.

Mom told me that it was my auntie Noreen's birthday at the end of November and she wanted to send her an English tenner as she reckoned the shops were all weird in England and wouldn't take Scottish money these days at all. I asked mom why she didn't just send Noreen the English tenner she'd sent mom last month for her birthday. Seriously, these two Irish ladies send each other a tenner for birthdays and Christmas. I know, I know! I think they should stop bothering and just go with it being the thought that counts.

Anyway, mom couldn't send the English tenner from Noreen back as she'd spent it by mistake on a bra. It's amazing how you can get a decent bra for a tenner these days especially when you are as big on top as mom. Sadly, I don't take after mom like that. Looking on the bright side, I'll never have a bad back. So, I am a dirty rat for not having an English tenner! How mad is that?

Oh I nearly forgot to say 'Thank you' for your concerns about my laxative troubles yesterday. I have survived, but I expect some of you are now wishing I hadn't!

The weather was so dreadful today that I didn't venture out until late. It was already really dark when I left the house at 5:30 and I couldn't see the sea on the left of the picture at all when I went down to Ayr seafront. I was the only nutter out there and I ended up with a face full of sand and rain when I turned into the wind. Hopeless!

Go large...

I shall try harder tomorrow and will go out as soon as I log off work at 3:15.

Track? As a tribute to Jack Bruce who sadly died yesterday, here he is with Rory Gallagher - The Politician