Thoughts about Mom

Mom was born 84 years ago today.

March 2nd every year fills with thoughts of her. She died from cancer in 1983 when she was 57. One year ago I included a tribute to Mom on my blip page.

When I arrived home this afternoon, I went looking for photos of Mom. I opened a cardboard box filled with newspaper clippings, various documents, handwritten letters, journals, and envelopes mailed from places all over the USA. Within moments I knew that I was not going to locate the photo of Mom that is in my mind. But I kept sorting through the pile of old paper. Then I looked inside one envelope and realized I was looking at my parents' wedding invitation.

Because Mom & Dad separated when I was quite young, I don't remember their anniversary ever being celebrated. So I just stared and stared at that invitation. October 9, 1946, they were married in Mom's home church. The reception was at my grandparents' home. Getting married was the last thing Mom did as a resident of the deep South. They started driving that afternoon toward California (where Mom would live the rest of her life). Grammie Teele, Dad's mom did not get to attend. As I read the telegram sent to her, I contemplated what it must have felt like for her to miss her only child's wedding.

My parents had met because Dad was stationed at Fort Benning, which was very close to Mom's community. Dad was an only child. Mom was an only daughter with two older brothers. I am sure they were both spoiled in unique ways.

This afternoon inside that box of paper memories I found a letter from my mom's mom (my Nanny) written to my Dad's mom (Grammie Teele). Nanny wrote to Grammie Teele to express "how much they missed their baby" (my mom). It must have been quite a transition, not only for my mom to move to the other side of the continent to live, but also for her parents to experience the physical loss of their daughter because she had married and moved far away.

I have no idea why for me certain dates on the calendar stand taller than others; somehow I tag a moment to a date. So a little aside that also happens every year on March 2nd, Mom's birthday, is the reminder that it was this date in 1988 (22 years ago now) that our daughter came home with her boyfriend to tell us we were going to be grandparents. To say that the bottom fell from our world that night doesn't begin to describe the devastation we felt. I wanted more than anything for our kids to get married in all the right circumstances. I didn't want them to have the tough start we'd had.

So I have learned a lesson that I keep learning again and again (and I am learning now as we observe our granddaughter Desiree making what looks like poor choices), that a story isn't written in a day or a week, sometimes not even a month . . . we have to get some miles between us and the moment, if we want to make sense of a situation. We've never felt more joy than what we have experienced because of our first grand child, Ashly Nicole. What seemed so upside down and tragic 22 years ago this evening, became an immense blessing for us.

So this evening we're celebrating Mom and Ashly because their lives have both poured so much meaning and purpose into our lives. Both of them are precious people who have had profound affect on my life. My mom taught me many things and my granddaughter Ashly has too. I am very fortunate to have had both of them in my life.

Thank you for reading my journal.
Good night from Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol


P.S. This is silly, but reading the announcement note about the reception revealed to me that my mom grew-up living on 17th Street. That gave me goosebumps . . . the 17th is my favorite number. I don't even have to look for things to celebrate . . . they arrive so unexpectedly. In case no one has noticed, tonight I am celebrating.

P.P.S. Thank you to all who have recently sent words of encouragement. You're all terrific!