Held hostage

by my own body.

Was not able to drive this morning. In fact, getting out of bed was excruciating. I couldn't turn my head and I felt like I was bruised all over my back (I'm not, it just feels like it) Rang work, left what can only be described as a weird message and then sat at the kitchen table whilst Corin organised James and took him to start his day. Everything functioned around me, my brain processed it all, but I felt a little like I was watching from the sidelines and seeing it happen.

Drugs, heat packs and lots of Transvasin have gone some way towards allowing me to at least find a comfortable position to sit in for short periods of time, but I have been conscious that I need to try and keep the muscles from completely seizing, so, on advice, I have been trying to do little stretches, turns of my head and so on. I have got some movement of my head/neck back so I can at least get to work tomorrow, even if it's sore.

The combination of an emergency stop, and my 'bracing' myself as I saw the brake lights ahead of me yesterday must have caused all of this. I cannot recall such acute and extensive pain in my back, ever. It's normally localised and chronic with me, so I have come to live with that. This, today, no more please.

My brain needs to go to work. It is not designed to be held hostage by a body that has to rest and stay put. It wants to work, it wants to learn, it wants to share some of the things that I have learned with other brains! It is stubborn, and despite receiving the pain signals, has sent contrary signals back to my body saying "stop being a softy and clean the house or do something constructive". Sitting makes me spot things that need doing. To resist the urge to pick up the dustpan and brush to sweep the floor in the living room has almost been too much to bear.

Brain has now said it's time to lie down for a bit and take some more tablets.

Thanks for all of the lovely comments on the moon shot last night - the camera was on a tripod and I didn't hoist it or crane my neck to look at the moon, I promise. I briefly landed on the rated page last night with 7x 5* ratings, I was informed by Corin. By morning 8th rating dropped my average from 5, to 4.5. The urban blip legend persists - if it's true, and the "One rater" did drop by - I hope you liked the shot and I hope your karma bank is full enough to cover the cost of all of these little withdrawals you make. My star ratings are going now - the comments of those who take the time are far more important.

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