Swimming Against The Tide

By ViolaMaths

Where They Grow

The day started even worse than yesterday. Self-esteem plummeting, I arrived for breakfast in tears. Felt sick from the moment I woke up. I have decided to up the dose of one of my meds, although not for a couple of days because I have things to do and when I up the dose I shall be incapable of doing anything except sleeping for a few days.

It won't help with the weight doing that, but I have no choice since I'm feeling pretty horrible most of the time now. I'll start trying to do some exercise again once my head's feeling a bit better - I'm now 16 stone 4 and can hardly reach my toenails, which isn't good.

This morning I saw my GP, who was a bit gobsmacked by some of the stuff I told her. She's prescribed me the higher dose meds and written the appropriate sick note so I can start my benefits again, and she's also going to write to my shrink to update her on what's going on.

I then went to see my "job lady" and we discussed what to do and how I could start again. She also needed me to fill in an "evaluation form", so I wrote that I wished everyone was as good as her, which she liked!

Then I went to do some shopping. Just basic groceries. Sainsbury's was odd - I felt kind of detached, separated from the rest of the world. Fortunately the Wonderspouse had given me a list, so I worked my way through it.

I also got another bottle of mojito for me and a lemon cheesecake and a triple chocolate sundae for today's lunch.

I KNOW I shall not get slim and be able to reach my toenails that way, but the thought of savoury food or salad made me feel sick and I thought I'd better eat something.

Then I went home via the magical asparagus farm - where I bought asparagus, obviously. I would probably spend my last penny on asparagus - although I need the Wonderspouse to cook it for me at the moment. On the way I stopped to take this picture of the field where they grow! Bless their little speary selves!

Came home, slept. Watched some episodes of Glee. Feel a bit better now.

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