New Fridge

After seventeen years of long, hard service, we decided to retire our old, rusting refrigerator and replace it with this glamourous new number.  Goodness what a difference seventeen years makes!  This fridge has all sorts of bells and whistles I am not accustomed to -- it has door alarms (not sure it they are some sort of high-tech dieting aid -- do the alarms go off when you open the doors?), digital readouts showing the precise temperature of both fridge and freezer, a timer (not quite sure what I am supposed to be timing ... the expiration dates of dairy items?), and something called the "Super Quick Ice" button -- for those times where just regular speed ice just isn't an option?  It's a whole new world!