Last night...

...I had gone to bed, but a gut feeling made me get up and go into the kitchen.

I have noticed since cat Suki passed away, that cat Lynx was looking her age. Lynx was a year older than Suki, so Lynx was about 23 ish years old.

Lynx was still able to jump up on my bed and my wooden swing. And get on top of that old tall refrigerator.

An ex boyfriend gave me Lynx, and she was a wild feral kitten that would rip you apart. It wasn't until she was over 20 years old that she would allow me to pick her up and stroke her, although I could still get shredded.

The last few days Lynx has been more friendly than ever before in her lifetime. She has asked to be cuddled and sat with me and on my lap.

Last night I just had to get out of bed and go to the kitchen, and Lynx was lying on her cat bed watching me come in.

I went and picked her up and sat the next couple of hours with her on my lap. She purred and purred and purred. Then I really needed my sleep, so I said goodnight to her and settled her in the cat bed. She got up and went to drink some water, and then settled back on to her cat bed.

I stroked her again for a wee while, and then I went outside (it was 2am by this time), and gave cat Popeye a cuddle. He was asleep on my wooden swing, where he sleeps on hot nights.

Then I went back to bed.

This morning Lynx was not on her cat bed, but I didn't have time to check where she was as I had an urgent appointment to have an infected back tooth out.

When I got back, there was still no Lynx, but cat Popeye greeted me. In my heart of hearts I already 'knew' that Lynx had passed away in the night and gone over the rainbow bridge. I have searched the front and back garden but I cannot find her. My garden is a complete jungle.

I keep searching again and again, every half hour or so, but I cannot find her. Cat Popeye has been walking round with me, but I am getting no clues from his body language as to the whereabouts of Lynx. Lynx has not left the boundaries of my property for some years now, she was a sun worshipper who followed the path of the sun as it went round my garden.

I am already 'seeing' Lynx sleeping besides me, on the end of my swing, sleeping on the old armchair in the garden....

I am so glad I got out of bed last night to cuddle Lynx.

I am feeling sad.

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