Helena Handbasket

By Tivoli

Skip Lorry Pooch

Arriving at work this morning I found a nice young chap juggling skips next to the cycle rack. While he was occupied stacking one full skip on top of another full skip on top of his truck I photographed the ubiquitous soft toy.

Arriving home this evening there was no apparent progress in the loft and no response to my feedback, so I popped round to Goblin Central which is only a few doors up the road. Actually, it isn't Goblin Central, it is the offices of the managing agent for the evil freeholder; those tasked with protecting the evil freeholder from the wrath of Asgard royalty and employing the goblins to assuage that wrath.

It transpired that Tuesday's goblin, who had chased out the birds, barricaded their entrance and allegedly cleared round the upside of the hatch a little to prevent more poo from descending, is an animal lover, and whilst he could bring himself to perform all of the above, he could not bring himself to lift flightless babies from their nests and place them outside on the parapet into the care of their parents. Better to shut the door and walk away imagining that they will be just fine parentless and starving in the heat and the dark.

Once upon a time I returned home from school to find a racing pigeon in severe distress having met the neighbour's cat. I was only little and very fond of all creatures, but even so, I understood that the kindest thing was to drop a weight on its head and then trace the owner using the details on the bird's ankle cuff. More recently I have been known to bring death swiftly to ailing chickens. There is a difference between being an "animal lover" and actually caring about them.

So, evil freeholder's managing agent is now trying to engage professional pest control. Good! It's high time professionals were brought in. My first visit from professional pest control was on 22nd February – exactly six months ago.

How time flies!

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