Billy

The phone rings. Billy wearing a fetching red device for the purpose of phone answering, answers the phone.

Billy: Billy here with my special phone answering device. Not available in the shops.

Maud: Get off my journal. I'll give you a count of ten.

Billy: And what happens then?

Maud: Your clever phone answering thing will self-destruct.

Billy: I'm doing you a favour. This journal would be empty without me. Or maybe some trees.

Maud: Ten. Nine. Eight.

Billy: Some dogs are so ungrateful.

Maud: Seven. Six. Five.

Billy: You'd rather have trees than me? I'm here to save the day!

Maud: Four. Three. Two.

Billy: I'm like the James Bond of the dog world.

Maud: Billy, don't be a hero...

Pause

Billy: But...but...

Maud: One.



Oh dear. At this point the world went black as a woman punched me for taking her picture (I didn't.) She probably thought I was in the secret service or something. It's an easy mistake to make. Or dog poo watching patrol. Or something.

She didn't really punch me. I made that bit up. And after I explained that I have a dog blog (but no dog) she introduced me to Amber, Charlie and another Labrador who all seemed very pleasant.

Billy's owner had no such issues...with photograph taking and was happy for him to feature today... He's a labradoodle. And he's ten. He was a gorgeous old woofer.

Normal service will resume tomorrow for those missing the Maudulent.

I bet you're not missing her as much as I am.