Everything was fine

I got up this morning, showered, had some tea, took the bouncy pup for a quick half-mile walk. Everything was fine.

Twenty five minute drive to the Cancer Center for a routine follow up with the Radiation Oncologist - the first since I finished radiation therapy last summer. Got there early so sat in my car and read some news in my phone. Everything was fine.

Put my mask on, headed into the office, checked in. Everything was fine. Sat down to wait my turn. Everything was fine.

And then I looked around the waiting room and suddenly … everything wasn’t fine. Like a great big wave of reality, I realized that every other person in that room was dealing with some stage of cancer. Just like me. And things really didn’t feel fine at all, in that moment. I wanted to burst into tears. I wanted not to be there. No, everything wasn’t fine.

Of course, in reality, everything is fine and I am fine. But I am still feeling a little bit shaken by my own reaction today. Wasn’t expecting that. I am enjoying a little bit of cuddle time with Jax right now.

I have the whole afternoon and evening ahead of me. I’m going to treat myself kindly. I may have a little extra dark chocolate. Everything is fine…


Xo
Debbi