Completion

It has been a rather amazing day for a number of reasons.

Reason the first: another two key accounts renewed today and the big one from last week with a couple of hundred attached to it is moving through nicely. With one more remaining for June and looking good, it would mean a 100% retention rate for me for the first half of the year, which is exceptionally rare and a testament to the team around me.

Secondly, being in good humour I went out at lunch and bought four items of clothing without trying them on. When I got them home, they all fitted perfectly. Also exceptionally rare. The club sandwich from Booths was also delicious.

Finally, and arguably almost as important as the club sandwich, Michael (the builder) handed his keys to my house back to me today. His work was finally complete. With a firm handshake and a nod of the head we said our goodbyes. One of us may have wiped a solitary tear from our cheek.

But, gentle reader, there in amongst the main plot thread of home improvement lies a hidden subplot as yet untold*, and it is that of the heroic humble plumber. Speak his real name to another around these here parts and you may receive a shrug of the shoulders and a facial expression denoting a lack of recognition. Use his nickname; Twiggy, and that uncomprehending face will quickly morph into a knowing smile, accompanied by a retinal twinkling and the slightest hint of sexual arousal, such is the allure of Kendal’s premier plumbing Casanova.

He’s had his hand around many a u-bend (mine own included), tightened more nuts than I care to mention, dealt with his fair share of gas and released blockages far and wide. Indeed, whilst in the course of his duties on my project, he took a full load in the face whilst removing an unwanted radiator. Did he quit and give up? No, he made a massive mess on my floor and carried on, stopping only to call me a “tosser” when I laughed after hearing his tale of woe - the offspring really loved that story too.

Earlier today having expressed my genuine surprise that the towel rail he’d hung only a short time ago was still on the wall, and in between calling me a “tosser” so many times that I lost count, Twiggy surprised me by expressing his dissatisfaction that Michael (the builder) was getting all the glory in my blips and there was no mention of his own labours. I was surprised because a) I didn’t know he read my blips and b) I didn’t know he could read.

Regardless, I knew that this imbalance needed correcting. Twiggy is a good man and a great friend (a founder member of the divorced dads group) and deserves better.

So at the end of a great day both personally and professionally, I would like to dedicate this special moment (and blip) to the wonder that is Twiggy. 

Project house would have been considerably drier and less fun without him.



*I only know this because he reminded me that I hadn’t told it.